Did sexual abuse turn me gay ?

Sophie L.
3 min readJan 23, 2024

… a question I’m afraid to explore even out of personal curiosity, because if something bad can turn you gay, people will assume gay people can be “fixed”, right ?

I just turned 38 (F) so I can safely say I’ve been gay (lesbian) for most of my life, with the exception of a few one-night stands with men and couples — but that’s another story.

I started developing feelings and attraction for women when I was 10 years old. Except for the teenage years (it was the 90s in rural France after all), this sexual orientation has been very fulfilling for me. My current partner makes me very happy and both our sexual life and way of living among others are perfectly normal to me.


But something happened last year : I began a process of deep healing and had to deal with unearthed memories of (intra-family) sexual abuse as a kid.

By a man.

To give some context, there are a few painful and destructive things I’m actively working on in my adult life :

  • anorexia / eating disorders
  • heavy consumption of alcohol and addictive behaviors in general
  • deep anger outbursts, characterized by intense, sometimes physical and verbal, reactions far beyond typical frustration, such as what you might experience in…



Sophie L.

38 yo. I work in digital marketing but write about my self-healing path (psychedelics, meditation, etc.)